I’m sure this has happened to you before.
You match with a girl on a dating app, you try and get the conversation going. It moves along nicely, but the both of you run out of things to say not long after and the conversation dies out.
You match, and the conversation kicks off very well. There’s a vibe. The energy is good and things are progressing better than most of your matches. You arrange a date and it’s a few days away. But as you continue chatting… you start to lose the momentum from the beginning. Soon enough, the conversation dies. And she ends up flaking.
In both situations, there are plenty of reasons why things didn’t work out.
But over the years, I’ve noticed a very common trend from my clients’ failed conversations (meaning, they didn’t get the date and the girl stopped replying).
There’s always a lack of rapport.
There was either none at the beginning, or the rapport could not be sustained as time passed.
Now, I’m not talking about a deep emotional connection. Or the feeling like you’ve known each other forever.
(Although they can help immensely.)
What I mean is… being able to vibe well with each other on a surface level.
You want a quick meeting of the minds, and for her to be emotionally motivated enough to meet you.
So at the very least, it should feel like the both of you could get along.
Fortunately, this problem can be easily fixed with a simple technique called Quick Rapport.
It’s our secret weapon here at the Authentic Gentleman.
It makes her feel like she can relate to you better than the other men she’s matched with.
It shows her that — unlike most men who seem to be weird, creepy, perverted, socially awkward, or boring —you’re just a normal guy she can have a good conversation with.
Most importantly, she will feel like she knows you better than all her other matches.
If that sounds like a superpower, that’s because it is.
I have used this technique easily for over 15 years, and it has never failed me. Because it’s a very natural way of connecting with people.
In fact, my students have used it with success.
It’s allowed them to get a girl’s number more easily, for a start:
Using Quick Rapport can also help you get more numbers.
And it solves other issues with your online dating and texting.
It gives you a structure for your conversation, so you don’t crack your head thinking about what to say next.
Instead, immediately after matching, you lead her towards Quick Rapport right away.
And we all know women can easily ignore you. Heck, they often don’t reply even though you’ve only sent the first message.
So we want to create the rapport within seconds, and use that positive momentum to get her number, and of course… the date.
This is the beginning of a conversation with one of my Tinder matches.
Pay attention to the messages inside the 2 orange boxes. In the 1st one, I made a simple statement to get her to agree with me:
“Two is better than one sometimes”
Then, I used her agreement to get another yes (building things up here):
“Best things come in a pair”
Now she’s vibing better with me. In the 2nd orange box, I led the conversation towards a date activity. Something unique for her, since most men tend to suggest coffee dates. The suggestion of a picnic and desserts got a bigger YES out of her, simply because…
1, a picnic is different from most dates she’s been on,
2, she has a sweet tooth as well, so we connected on that.
And just like that, I used Quick Rapport to eventually get her number and the date.
(I won’t show you the rest of the screenshots, but drop a comment if you want to see it.)
Let’s try another example:
Her profile bio had only this quote in it:
“It’s better to be hated for what you are, than loved for what you’re not.”
So I started the conversation with a fun statement:
“<her name>, regardless of whether we end up loving or hating each other… let’s make sure we do it on a full stomach.”
My opener allowed me to lead the conversation towards food as a potential date activity.
Her response was simple. In fact, you may think she’s not helping to move the conversation forward. But the truth is, I have to lead her towards committing more to our interaction.
This is usually how it is at the beginning of any new interaction with a woman.
I don’t argue or fight against that reality. I just accept it and put in the effort first. Eventually, her effort will balance out mine.
So I established Quick Rapport with her in the 1st orange box. The conversation flowed naturally towards food. I made a joke about getting fat together. She joked she was already fat, and then in the 2nd orange box, I built more Quick Rapport by asking for her help.
The vibe was good, so naturally she agreed. Then she suggested bringing me to eat Vietnamese food, which was a Foreshadow on her part.
(We’ll talk about Foreshadows in the next blog post, so stay tuned to that.)
Building up this momentum took me 3 screenshots. Shortly after, we exchanged Wechat (chatting app, like Telegram) and moved away from Facebook Dating.
You can see how fast and simple it is. I focused on building Quick Rapport, so everything I say at the beginning of a match goes in that direction.
That’s all you have to do.
But let’s look at one final example, so you get the idea:
This conversation kicked off well because we were able to get Quick Rapport with a common topic — fun and physical activities.
I used the word “exploring” in the 1st screenshot because she had a video of herself on a zipline, and I recognised where she had gone to do that.
It was an instant connection.
You could see it very quickly made her invest more into the conversation.
All I had to do after that was just lead her towards exchanging contact details, which I did after the screenshot above.
(We got on Telegram, even though I asked for Whatsapp. Let me know if you wish to see the screenshot after this one!)
So there you have it.
In the 3 examples above, I’ve used…
1, an uncommon date activity (picnic),
4, fun activities
… to build Quick Rapport with my matches.
Then I used the good vibes from building Quick Rapport to foreshadow a date.
After that, I merely had to suggest getting on Whatsapp/Telegram to make the date happen.
That’s all you need to do if you want to get a date.
In my next blog post, I will talk about how to properly Foreshadow so you can get her phone number, and then get the date.
In the meantime, get out there and use Quick Rapport with your matches!